


To where it began

by dannaia_maia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24769006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannaia_maia/pseuds/dannaia_maia
Summary: Hinata knew he shouldn't be feeling this way. Not when he was the one who ended it.Oikawa knew he didn't have any right to hope when he was the reason why they fell apart.Will these two finally move on from the wounds of the past or will they follow their heart once more?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever read this and felt like the story is familiar before because this story is previously titled as "We Don't Talk Anymore," written by althea_mirea.
> 
> This is currently my new account as of the moment so I hope you'll read this once again.

Hinata tossed and turned on his bed. He can't sleep. Not when his mind is full of the other. Not when his heart is still aching from what was lost.

A sigh escapes from his lips. He wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. _Not like this._ He picked up his phone and opened up his gallery.

He scrolled down from the folders until he stumbled upon a folder named after his and Oikawa's name.

Pain stirred up within him as he opened it. Photos of him and his ex-lover, Oikawa Tooru greeted his sight.

It has been a long time since he saw these pictures. It did crossed his mind to delete them but he can't bring himself to do so even when 3 months have passed since they broke up.

As he gazes into the photos, he began to reminisce each of the memories they had together.

There was a pic of him and Oikawa in their victory pose with Kageyama glaring at the background and Iwaizumi with his blank look. He chuckled to himself as he still remembered that day clearly.

_He and_ _Oikawa_ _were hanging out at the park when his lover suddenly suggested they play volleyball. He said okay cause why not?_

_To_ _make it more fun,_ _Oikawa_ _decided to invite_ _Iwaizumi_ _and_ _Kageyama_ _over and told Hinata to call_ _Iwa_ _-chan while he calls_ _Tobio_ _-chan._

_"Won't it be better if you call_ _Iwaizumi_ _-senpai instead of me?"_ _he asked._

_"He listens to you better, Shou-chan. Besides, I'd like to call_ _Tobio_ _-chan for something."_

_Hinata just shrugs and dialed_ _Iwaizumi's number_ _. When he picked up, Hinata invited him out for a volleyball game and Iwaizumi_ _says he'll be there._

_He turned to_ _Oikawa_ _who was smirking wickedly. Hinata_ _sighs_ _. He knew Oikawa did something again._ _Whatever it was, it sure worked cause_ _Kageyama_ _showed up 10 minutes later with_ _Iwaizumi_ _behind him._

_"What's this? I thought you weren't going to come?"_ _Oikawa_ _says_ _smugly._

_"I'll crush you just you wait."_ _Kageyama_ _warned, giving off a murderous aura._

_"Oh my, so scary~ If you frown too much, you'll get wrinkles~" The two of them continue to glare each other down while_ _Iwaizumi_ _and Hinata chatted and started to do their stretching._

_"How about this? Whoever wins the game gets to order the losers? Not a bad deal, eh?"_

_"Heh, don't get cocky. The two of us will win. We'll beat your stupid ass."_

_"I can't be so sure of that,_ _Tobio_ _-chan. After all, I have my adorable Shou-chan.Together we're unbeatable."_ _Oikawa says proudly._

_"We'll see about that."_

_After that, they did their own stretches and started the game. It_ _was an intense fight. Each one of them was unrelenting. But in the end, Hinata and Oikawa won much to Kageyama's chagrin._

_"Hahaha! See that? What did I tell ya? I won! How's that,_ _Tobio_ _-chan? Aren't I just cool and great?" Oikawa says smugly_ _while laughing in a mocking manner._

_Kageyama_ _just kept glaring daggers at Oikawa. If looks could kill, Oikawa would probably be dead by now._

_Oikawa's dare was to take a pic as a remembrance much to Kageyama's irritation hence his glare at the background while Iwaizumi just gave a blank look that says 'let's just get this over with'._

Hinata scrolled down until he stumbled upon another pic of him and Oikawa trying some makeups on that belongs to Oikawa's sister which made them both look hilarious as a result.

Another was a stolen shot of both of them asleep on the floor from all the studying they've done. They later found out that it was Iwaizumi-senpai who took the pic much to their surprise.

And another was a pic of him wearing Oikawa's jacket, smiling bashfully at the camera while Oikawa clung to him in an affectionate way.

And another was a double date with Iwaizumi-senpai and Kageyama at the amusement park. Hinata remembered how much fun he had back then.

And another was at Kenma's house. Hinata and Kenma were on the floor, playing video games while Kuroo and Oikawa were on the sofa, chatting with each other. Hinata took a pic of them as a remembrance.

He continued to scroll down from the pictures and he chuckled when he saw lots of selfies of Oikawa. Hinata couldn't help but remember the words Oikawa said to him that day.

_"Geez, senpai. Why bother taking my phone to take selfies when you have yours?" He asked one day to his lover who snapped another selfie._

_"Well, Shou-chan, this is for you to remember by when we don't see each other. At least by seeing this pictures of mine, you won't get lonely at all, don't you think?"_ _he_ _said with a smile and Hinata couldn't help but feel the thumping beat of his heart._

Hinata stared at the selfies for a while before scrolling down again. Then he came across with a photo of Oikawa with his eyes closed, his brown hair dancing along the wind accompanied by cherry blossom petals.

That photo was secretly taken by him on the day where they decided to visit the Sakura trees in the park he always love to visit.

To Hinata, that's the place where they first met and where everything began to take place.

_He remembered he was in a hurry that day to reach his favorite place which is the park which is filled with Sakura trees. It always calms his nerves whenever he went there._

_He passed by someone and their eyes met for a brief moment before he completely dashed off to his destination._

_Upon arriving, he admired the Sakura trees that is in full bloom. It was until later that he heard footsteps coming closer that he turned his head only to see the person he passed by earlier._

_The stranger was tall, attractive and has brown hair and brown eyes. "_ _Hi there, I'm_ _Oikawa Tooru_ _. Nice to meet you. What's yours?"_

_Hinata was a little surprised when the stranger suddenly talked to him and even introduced himself. It took him a moment to respond before giving a small, sheepish smile in return. "I'm Hinata_ _Shouyou_ _. Nice to meet you too, I guess."_

Since then, they became friends. Even though they went to different schools, they still managed to find some time to hang out. As they spend time with each other, Hinata finds himself having complicated feelings.

Whenever they are together, he would get butterflies in his stomach.

Whenever Oikawa's hand ruffles his hair, he'd feel warm and happy.

And whenever Oikawa would cling to him, his heart would beat fast but he didn't mind. In fact, he liked when Oikawa is close to him.

He likes getting his attention. His compliments. He even grew fond of his nickname. _Shrimpy, Chibi-chan, Shou-chan._

Those feelings of his is something new to Hinata. He didn't know what to do with it. But there's three things he was sure of.

_He_ _likes Oikawa._

_He wanted to be with him._

_He wanted more_ _than just friends._

He wanted to confess his feelings but he wouldn't risk it in fear of losing his friendship with the setter. 

He would be satisfied being just a friend rather than losing what they have. 

That should have been the case but he was utterly surprised when Oikawa confessed to him. Right on the park where they first met.

_So, it's not_ _just me,_ he thought.

Taking a deep breath, he gave a shy smile and also confessed his feelings and became Oikawa's boyfriend.

They began to date. Hinata felt that he is indeed the luckiest and happiest person in the world. He wished the happy days will go on forever.

**_But at the end of the day, all good things have come to an end._ **

It was _he_ who ended their relationship. He wasn't strong enough to go on. He was _weak_. A _coward_.

He let his _insecurities_ get the better of him that made their relationship strained which eventually led to him breaking up with Oikawa.

He didn't want to break up with him. He never wanted to. He wanted to always stay by his side just like what they promised.

He almost took back the words when Oikawa was on his knees, clinging into him, crying and begging him to stay. It was the first time he saw Oikawa in that state.

He clenched his fist and averted his gaze away, he can't bear to see Oikawa like that, in tears and in pain. _All because of him._

But he can't be selfish either. 

_"Let me get straight to the point. We both know_ _Oikawa_ _is someone who constantly improves himself to be better, right?_ _That_ _is why he needs someone that'll be there to help him. Not someone who can be a burden to him someday."_

That's right. What Oikawa needs is someone who won't be a burden to him. Someone who could push him further to his potential.

_"To be honest, I don't get what he even sees in you." She scoffs and shook her head. "You're a guy. What can you even do? You can't even give him a family that he needs in the future._ _Such a waste."_

Hinata finds himself agreeing. They were both guys. He can't have kids. Oikawa needs someone who can give him everything. A complete family which he could never ever give. Oikawa would eventually want to have a child he could call his own. A child of his own blood.

_"Let me tell you this but it would be better for you to end things with him. You see, no_ _matter what he loves about you, there's always the possibility of him leaving and finding_ _someone better_ _. It_ _won't be long before he eventually gets tired and leave you_ _behind. It may not be now but soon."_

The thought of being replaced anytime scares Hinata. The more he thinks about it, the more he's uncertain of their future.

_"Haven't you noticed how he doesn't tell you anything? Like his problems or whatever. That just means he never thought of relying on you. You never know, there could be a lot of things he's still hiding and haven't told you like meeting up with me behind your back."_

Those words hold some truth. Oikawa never did tell him anything, not even when he has problems. He would just smile, say it's nothing and not to worry about it.

He did also catch them both together. As he stared at them, he thought they looked good together. It made his heart ache at the painful truth.

Days and weeks goes by, lots of questions kept running through his head. 

Is Oikawa still happy with him? Will Oikawa replace him sooner or later? Is he really that unreliable? Is he really a burden? 

He didn't know. He would never know.

He already made his decision.

_To let go even if his heart was against it. The longer he stays, the more selfish he would become._

Yet why? Why is it that even when 3 months have passed since then, his heart was still aching, wishing for the impossible.

He would find himself thinking, what if he hadn't said those words back then? What if he had just been patient? Would they have been happy until now? Did he even made the right decision?

He sighed and shook his head as if dismissing the thoughts. He can't be thinking about the past. It already ended as it should be. He should move on. He didn't have any right to hope when he was the one who ended it in the first place.

He's sure Oikawa already moved on. Dating someone who would love him more than he did. Strong, brave and not a coward and a burden like him.

As long as Oikawa is happy, he is too. 

He took one last glance at the pictures before turning off his phone and placing it back on the table. He pulled his blanket over him as he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to come to him.

**_This too shall pass..._ **


	2. Chapter 2

Tooru tossed and turned on his bed. He can't sleep either. Not when his thoughts were full of the other. Not when his heart was aching, hoping to bring back what was lost.

He let out a sigh. Sleep is not coming anytime soon. Have he become insomniac? Maybe. Maybe not.

He pulled out his phone that is under his pillow and finds himself scrolling through his friend's different posts. Maybe a bit of distraction might help him get sleepy. 

He kept scrolling and scrolling until a post by Kenma caught his interest. His heart did a skip as his eyes landed on a familiar orange hair.

It was Shou- no, _Hinata_. He had no right to call him Shou-chan. _Not anymore._

He was at Kenma's house, playing games with him as usual. His lips curled into a sad smile knowing Hinata is well after what happened between them.

He finds himself browsing through his gallery. Photos of him and his ex lover, Hinata Shouyou greeted his sight.

Pain stirred up within him as he gazes the photos with sadness and nostalgia. Even when 3 months have passed since they broke up, he can't ever bring himself to delete them.

He browsed through each of them. A sad smile made its way into his face as he remembered every moment, every memories it held.

He stumbled upon a pic he snapped of Hinata who's playing with a dog. Oikawa remembered how jealous he was when Hinata's full attention was on the dog instead of him. Yes, it's so childish of him. No need to slap it on his face.

There was also a pic of the both of them trying to cosplay. Seriously, anything look good on Hinata. No one can definitely change his mind.

There was a pic of Hinata trying on his jacket which he got a nosebleed on how cute he was that moment. He ended up clinging into him and even showing him off to his teammates.

And another was a pic of Hinata asleep on his lap, tired for studying all day long. He remembered he ended up dozing too. So much for studying.

And there's a selfie pic of him smiling at the camera while Hinata kissed him on the cheek. He ended up peppering Hinata with little kisses after that.

He scrolled down some more and found a pic of the four of them - him, Hinata, Tobio-chan and Iwa-chan, on a double date at the amusement park. He enjoyed teasing Tobio-chan with Iwa-chan much to Tobio-chan's embarrassment and annoyance.

And so on and so forth. Most of the pics left were stolen shots of Hianata he secretly took of. He loves taking pictures of him. He's just that adorable.

Then he came across a photo of Hinata standing, who's mesmerized gaze were transfixed on the Cherry Blossom trees. It was his favorite photo.

He remembered that the park where they first met is where everything began for the both of them.

_He was casually strolling around the park for some fresh air when a dash of orange hair runs past him._

_Time seemed to slow down as both of their eyes met for a brief second before the orange haired completely dashed off and getting far and far away on his sight._

_Oikawa_ _blinks, unable to say words. Yet he can't help but be intrigued by the guy and notice his heart was thumping fast. Before he knew it, he was running forward, hoping to see the orange haired guy again._

_He didn't know why and he himself can't explain what he felt but he needed to see him again. He soon caught sight of him much to his relief._

_As he got closer, he was mesmerized by the awed look on the orange haired face was giving and he secretly pulled out his phone and snapped a pic._

_Don't get him wrong. He's not a creep and he'll never will be. He only took a picture 'cause it would be a waste not to take a picture of him at that moment._

_He made his way towards the orange haired who sensed his presence and looks at him in recognition. Upon_ _getting a closer look, Oikawa thought the guy was cute. He would love to ruffle that fluffy orange hair sometime._

_He flashes him a smile and introduced himself_. _"Hi, I'm Oikawa_ _Tooru_ _. Nice to meet you. What's yours?"_

_The orange haired guy gave a look of surprise and it took him a while to answer before giving a small, sheepish smile in return. "I'm Hinata_ _Shouyou_ _. Nice to meet you too, I guess."_

That was their first meeting. The day where his heart was taken. Ever since then, they became friends and began hanging out.

He was a little bit disappointed that Hinata went to Karasuno even though he invited him at Aoba Johsai. Still he respects his wish to attend to the same school where his small giant idol used to attend.

He was jealous of Tobio-chan because he could be with Hinata all the time. Still, even though their time is limited, the two of them still managed to find some time to hang out.

He would often call him names like _Shou-chan, Shrimpy, and Chibi-chan._

Hinata would also call him Grand King from time to time in which he was proud to have and finds himself treasuring the nickname.

And whenever they're together, he would often cling into Hinata and come up with excuses just to prolong the time they had.

And he likes seeing Hinata's bright smile and when ruffling his fluffy orange hair.

Day by day, he finds himself wanting more, finds himself falling deeper to Hinata, a bit unusual for him since volleyball is always his number one but that changed when he met Hinata.

He had a girlfriend once but dumped him since he was too absorbed in volleyball. And another one he dumped because she's too controlling.

She would often ask him to quit volleyball and he snapped like why the hell would he give up volleyball? So he dumped her. But enough about that, it's in the past. He's got his adorable Hinata now.

After a few months, he was thinking of confessing but for the first time, he didn't know how to. Yes, he was flirtatious in nature, that he admits, but when it comes to Hinata, he was a nervous wreck. He even asked Iwa-chan for help.

_"Seriously, what do I do,_ _Iwa_ _-chan? Should I just outright say it or take him out on a date first or do the_ _kabedon_ _thing?"_

_"Huh? K_ _abedon thing_ _?"_ _Iwaizumi_ _asked, confused._

" _The one where you slam your hand against the wall, pinning someone. You know, those typical_ _shoujo_ _cliches my sister often reads." Oikawa informed him._

_"I don't know but are you seriously considering on doing that?"_

_Oikawa's_ _eyes twinkled. "Why not? I've always wanted to try it."_

_"Suit yourself then." came_ _Iwaizumi's_ _short reply before getting back on his textbook._

_Oikawa pouted. "Come on,_ _Iwa_ _-chan. Help me out here."_

_Iwaizumi_ _sighs. "_ _Ask him out on a date in a subtle way, I think. Go to movies,_ _arcades_ _, have_ _dinner or whatever you think would be fun. Before going home, take him to his favorite place then confess."_

_Oikawa's_ _eyes twinkled. "Whoa,_ _Iwa_ _-chan._ _I didn't know you knew so much about dating stuff."_

_"I just literally came up with it."_ _came_ _Iwaizumi's_ _short reply._

_Oikawa's_ _lips curled into a smile. "Many thanks,_ _Iwa_ _-chan. I think I have a plan now."_

_Iwaizumi nodded. "Mm, good luck then. I'll be rooting for the both of you."_

So he asked Hinata on a date which the latter agreed. They went to watch a movie, play at the arcade, browse at the stores, have dinner and went to the park for a stroll.

Right there, he finally confessed. He was so damn nervous. He didn't know what to do if Hinata would reject him there.

But to his surprise, Hinata confessed that he liked him too. He was ecstatic. He never would've imagined that Hinata would feel the same way about him too.

_He wasn't the only one then._

At that moment, he felt that he was the luckiest and happiest guy in the world. And so they began dating. Every day is filled with fun and happiness that he wished it wouldn't end.

**_But alas, it did._ **

Oikawa blamed himself for the end of their relationship. He didn't noticed Hinata's been suffering and is keeping it to himself.

He was supposed to take away his insecurities, reassure him that everything will be fine just the way they are but it's like he's only adding fuel to the fire.

_"Are you okay? You seem to be upset. Is there anything troubling you?" Hinata asked him._

_He snapped out of his thoughts and gave him a weak smile. "It's nothing, Shou-chan. Don't worry about it."_

_"You always say that." Hinata uttered in a hushed whisper._

_He paused._ _"Eh?"_

_Hinata lowered his gaze. "Not even once have you told me anything. Am I that unreliable to lean on? Am I...just a burden to you?"_

_"No, that's not it! You're not a burden at all, Shou-chan!"_

_"Mm, forget I said anything then." he muttered and went back on working his assignment._

After that, things got rocky between them and he starts to notice that the distance between them was getting wider and wider.

He was an idiot. A pathetic excuse for a lover. Maybe that's why everything went downhill.

His heart broke into pieces when Hinata told him one day that he wanted to break up.

_"W-what...?" Oikawa couldn't believe his ears. Hinata wanted to break up with him? Why?_

_"Let's break up." Hinata repeated._

_"W-why...?"_

_"I don't think it's working out anymore." Hinata says, not looking into his eyes._

_"I...don't understand. W-why...? Did I do something wrong? Please, tell me Shou-chan."_

_Hinata sighs. "Oikawa, you did nothing wrong. I just...I've had enough, okay? Don't make this harder for us."_

_Oikawa shook his head and clasped Hinata's hands. "I won't break up with you, Shou-chan. I won't."_

_"But I will." Hinata pulled his hands away from Oikawa. "Let me go, Oikawa. We'll only get hurt if we continue this relationship. Let's stop."_

_Oikawa teared up and begged on his knees. "Shou-chan, please don't do this. I promise I'll do anything you want! We'll work things out. Just don't break up with me. Don't leave me please..."_

Despite his pleas, Hinata still ended up walking away, leaving him there. He wanted to stop him from walking away, to chase after him but couldn't find the strength to move.

Maybe because he was afraid of what Hinata might say next. Or maybe afraid of Hinata hating him even more.

Before he knew it, he was outside of Iwa-chan's house. Iwa-chan, seeing him drenched in the rain and looking gloomy didn't hesitate to let him in.

When he heard Iwa-chan's concerned voice, asking him if everything's okay, tears suddenly dripped down into his eyes and he cried.

He knew he was showing his pathetic, vulnerable sight but he didn't care. Iwa-chan kept silent, letting him cry and accompanied him until he was better.

He was grateful for Iwa-chan's company. He knew Iwa-chan has lots of questions so he told him everything. That he and Hinata broke up.

He expected Iwa-chan to scold him like he used to but nothing. He just asked if he was okay and if he needs anything, just call him.

Days, weeks, and months have passed since then but even so, he still hopes to be with Hinata. To bring him back. To be with him still. But he knew he can't be selfish either.

If breaking up with him will make Hinata be happy, then so be it, even though his heart was against it.

He tried to moved on. Tried so hard yet why can't he? Why does he still finds himself thinking back to the good old times?

He knew it already ended. So why is he still hoping to bring it back? Hoping for the impossible.

_Stupid heart. You're just hurting yourself more and more._

He sighed. He should stop thinking about the past. He's sure that Hinata had already moved on.

Maybe already dating someone else who'll make him happy. Someone who'll ease his worries. Someone even better than him.

It pains him to even think about it - Hinata dating someone else but he can't do anything about it. He's not part of his life anymore.

He took one last glance at the picture before turning off his phone and placing it on the top of his desk and pulled the blanket towards him.

Even when 3 months have passed since their breakup, he knew to himself that no one can ever replace Hinata in his heart. He's just that unforgettable.

To him, Hinata is his sun. Someone who brought light to his dark and lonely life.

He closed his eyes and waited for the sleep to come over.

**_Time for another sleepless night..._ **


	3. Chapter 3

Hinata sighed for the umpteenth time as he tried to get any studying done. Since there was no practice today 'cause of the upcoming exams, he might as well study.

He didn't want to disturb the others so he tried to ask Yachi, a close friend he have, to study with him but unfortunately, she has an errand to run. Kageyama also has things to do so it really is just him.

But as you can see, he's getting nowhere hence all the sighing from earlier.

He sighs once again and gently massage his aching head. Maybe it's because he hasn't slept well these past few nights. Yeah, that could be why he couldn't concentrate.

His phone vibrated and he opened it to see a text from Kenma.

_**Kenma** _ _**: Hey, just got a new game again.**_

A smile made its way into his face as he typed a reply.

_**Hinata: That's great then!** _

**_Kenma_** : **_Mm, was thinking of inviting you this weekend if you don't have anything to do._**

_**Hinata: Sure, I'd love to!** _

_**Kenma** _ _**: Great. Gotta go, take care on your way home.** _

_**Hinata: Same to you!** _

After that, Hinata started to place his textbooks into his bag and call it a day when, "Hinata, there you are." someone called out to him.

"Hmm?" he looked up to see Kageyama in front of him. "Oh, it's you Kageyama. What brings you here?" he asks.

"You weren't there in the room when I got back so I asked if anyone knew where you went and they told me they saw you heading towards the library so I came here." he replies and noticed the books sprawled around the desk.

He cocks a brow. "Studying? How unusual for you."

"Yeah, I know. Since there's no practice, I might as well study for the upcoming exams. And since I'm getting nowhere, I think I'll stop here for now and rest early." Hinata yawns and stretched up a bit.

"Anyways, what is it? Why were you looking for me?"

"So we could go home already, silly."

"Sounds good but I don't want to go home just yet. Why don't we stop by somewhere else first?"

"Sure. How about the park?"

"Okay, but first, food!" Hinata exclaimed. Kageyama smiled wryly. "You always think about food. Hurry up and pack your things then." Hinata gathered up his things and placed them inside of his bag.

"Let's go!" Hinata says. Kageyama nodded and they both left to grab some food before going into the park.

Once they arrived, they both chose their usual spot and sat on the grass and ate their food silently. After Hinata finished his food, he admired the sunset and snapped a picture of it.

"You really love taking pictures."

"Mm, it's like capturing a memory or a moment." he replied. "Do you like taking pictures too?" 

"No. It's not really my kind of thing."

"I figured. You were always glaring at the background whenever Oikawa-" he stopped.

Kageyama seems surprised too at the sudden mention of that name.

After that, an awkward silence enveloped between them. Neither of them didn't know what to say.

Hinata wanted to slap himself for his carelessness. Why did he have a slip of the tongue now? _Get a grip of yourself, Shoyou!_

"Say," Kageyama finally broke the silence.

He turned his head to Kageyama. "Hmm?"

"Can I ask a question?"

"You're already asking me though."

"Shut it, dumbass."

"Hahaha. Okay, okay. Kidding aside, that sounded serious."

"Something like that."

Hinata studied Kageyama for a moment before shrugging, "Sounds scary but eh sure."

"It's not in my place to ask but it was bothering me for a while."

"About?"

"About why the two of you broke up."

_Of course._

He knew Kageyama will brought it up sooner or later. He just didn't expect it to be this long. "Seriously? Why ask that just now when you could've ask me that before?"

"I didn't want to ask back then when I knew you were still clearly hurting from it."

"...I see." Hinata remembered that time very well. It was one he couldn't forget no matter what. _The day where he broke up with Oikawa_ _Tooru_ _._

_**Flashback:** _

_Rain continued to pour down yet he paid it no mind_ _as he recalled_ _what happened earlier. He finally broke up with Oikawa_ _Tooru_ _. It was for the best right? So why?_

_Why did his heart have to ache so much? W_ _hy did he felt like his whole world breaking apart?_ _Seeing_ _the tears on his face, hearing his voice cracking, on his knees begging him to stay._

_He almost took back the words. Almost. Yet he managed to walk away._ _He_ _had no idea where he was going nor where his feet will take him. It didn't matter._

_"Oi, Hinata!" a voice called out to him._

_Hinata jolted from his trance and turned his head to see_ _Kageyama_ _running towards him._ _"_ _Kageyama_ _...?"_

_Kageyama_ _stopped in front of him and sheltered him from the rain. "_ _You dumbass. Can't you see it's raining?_ _You're_ _going to catch a cold at this rate."_

_Hinata couldn't help but chuckle. "So you care about me?"_ _Kageyama_ _flushed. "Shut up, you idiot! I just can't stand seeing someone being so idiotic."_

_Hinata chuckled again. "I guess I'm one then." he said and then afterwards grew silent._

_Kageyama_ _noticed something was wrong._ _Hinata wasn't the quiet type of person. He would always talk about things but now..._

_"Did something happen?"_ _Kageyama_ _asked him with concern._ _Hinata_ _was silent for a moment before muttering quietly, "We broke up."_

_Kageyama_ _didn't quite catch those words. "_ _What?"_

_"_ _We broke up." Hinata repeated_ _._

_"What...? Why?"_ _Kageyama_ _asked in disbelief._

_"It...just happened. Relationships are like that you know. It may last but it may end_ _anytime_ _either."_

_"You're kidding me, right? What happened?"_ _Hinata_ _gave a sad and bitter smile. "Maybe we weren't just meant to be, Kageyama."_

_Kageyama's_ _expression saddened. He was deeply concerned for his friend. "_ _Hinata..."_

_"Let's not talk about this for now. I'm tired._ _I...want to be alone for a while to clear my head so I'm gonna go on ahead. Thanks for sharing an umbrella with me by the way."_

_After that, Hinata walked away, leaving_ _Kageyama_ _staring at his back_ _._

_**End of Flashback:** _

"Iwaizumi-san told me that the two of you really did broke up. I asked what's the reason and he didn't know either."

"Was he mad at me?" Hinata muttered. Kageyama's eyes widened at his statement. "What?"

"Was he mad at me?" he repeated, not looking Kageyama in the eye.

Hinata's eyes watered as he remembered Iwaizumi-senpai calling and texting him comforting words that he'll always be there. He even visited him but he always shut himself into his room. He doesn't have the face to see Iwaizumi-senpai. He was ashamed of himself.

"I know he's mad at me." Hinata sniffed and huddled his knees together. "I did hurt his best friend."

Kageyama's face softens. " _No_ , silly. Why would he? In fact, he was quite _worried_ about you. He always ask me if you're doing okay. To look after you."

Hinata chuckled bitterly. "Iwaizumi-senpai's really kind. Worrying about me even though I really don't deserve it."

"Hinata," Kageyama started. "I know I'm not good at giving some advice to problems but I can listen. I mean, that's what friends do right? So if you're ready to open up, just hit me up anytime."

Hinata's lips formed into a smile. Really, Kageyama can be so unexpected at times. He wonders if dating changed him. "Kageyama, since when did you become such a kind-hearted person? It's getting quite scary."

"You dumbass! Can't I worry for a friend?" Kageyama says in a flustered tone. Hinata chuckles and looked up the sunset. Then, he told Kageyama everything.

_How he was weak. How he gave in to his insecurities and fears. How he ended up breaking up with Tooru._

_That he thinks it was for the best. Did he made the right choice? Or did he made the wrong choice? Everything. He poured it all out._

Kageyama listened. He spoke nothing but the comfort and gentle look on his face was there. Once he was finished, Hinata felt lighter than ever. Like a heavy burden has finally been off on his shoulders.

"Thanks for listening, Kageyama. It really helped. I felt lighter, like a heavy burden was lifted off. I guess sometimes we need to have a talk with someone about things like this."

"No, I should be the one thanking you for opening up to me. It took courage and trust to do that you know."

"Yeah..." Hinata trailed off. "Now you know how much of a coward I am." he smiled bitterly. 

"No, you're not alone. To be honest, I've felt what you felt Hinata. There was a time when I thought about the same things like you did." Kageyama admitted.

Hinata gave him a look of surprise. Kageyama has been through with his situation too? "Really?"

Kageyama looked at the sunset as if remembering a certain memory. "It is quite unusual for me to be bothered with things like love when all my life I've been only thinking about being the best in volleyball."

"I knew it. Kageyama's scary." Hinata joked. "Shut up, you dumbass!" Kageyama retorted.

Hinata laughs. "I was just kidding. I just didn't expect that things like this would bother you too, Kageyama. I thought I was the only one."

"I didn't expect it either. It was my first time having strong feelings for someone, first time being in a relationship with someone. It was so...unlike me."

"There was a time when I was beginning to be uncertain. I became afraid. Is it still alright for him to be with me? Will he regret it in the end? I often asked those kind of questions in my head."

"How did it go?" Hinata asked.

"At first, I thought ending things with him was the answer. I mean, Iwaizumi-san has so much potential that it would be a waste if I were to only bring him down. But at the end of the day, my selfishness didn't want that tiny bit of happiness to go. I still want to clung into it even though the ending might not be what I expected it to be. I'll take the risk even if it means getting hurt in the end. That's part of life, I guess."

Kageyama turned to Hinata. "Even now, I'm still plagued with those kind of thoughts. But I decided to live on the present so I wouldn't ended up with regrets."

_Regrets..._

_Did he have regrets?_

"That's why I want you to think long and hard about it, Hinata."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you really fine with the way things are? Are you just gonna give everything up? You know, it's okay to be selfish for once. Don't hold yourself back don't run away from what your heart wants. Yes, the future may be scary and uncertain but all the more reason why I think we should live in the moment."

"Besides, I know you still love him deep down even if you didn't say it. And I know that shitty idiot shares the same feelings."

"Kageyama-"

Kageyama pointed at Hinata's heart. "Listen to your heart, Hinata. Follow your true feelings. Deep within your heart, you were still hoping to bring back the two of you had."

Hinata was astounded. He knew. He knew Kageyama's words spoke the truth yet his mind was being stubborn.

"What if we only get hurt in the end? What if following my heart would just make things worst? What if-" he was cut off when Kageyama bonked him in the head.

"Dumbass, stop thinking about those stuff and just think of your own happiness! As your friend, I wouldn't want you to regret something or be unhappy."

Hinata smiled wryly and shook his head. "You've...changed, Kageyama. But, thank you. For listening and for opening up too."

He felt Kageyama's hands ruffle his hair. "There's no rush. Just think about it and the answer will come into you in no time."

Hinata never expected for them to have a heart to heart talk. But with that, it made them closer.

They talked some more about anything when Kageyama's phone notified that he got a message. Kageyama looked at it. "It's from Iwaizumi-san."

"What did he tell you?"

"He told me he's halfway through here."

Hinata paused. "...I see."

"Don't worry. If you're not prepared to meet him just yet, there's still another time."

"Yeah...sorry. Maybe next time when I finally gathered my courage to face him."

Kageyama nodded. "I understand." He stood up. "Will you be going home now?"

Hinata shook his head. "I think I'll stay here for a little bit. I have so much to sort about."

Kageyama smiled. "Is that so? Then I wish the best of luck to you."

"Yeah, thanks partner." They fist bumped and Kageyama waved goodbye and so does Hinata.

When he can no longer see Kageyama, he stood up and strolled around, all the while gazing at the cherry blossom trees.

"It's been a while since I last came here." he muttered. He stopped coming to the park long ago because he would only just remember the memories.

Hinata decided to lean on some tree and looks up to the sky. He pondered the words Kageyama told him.

_"Are you really fine with the way things are? Are you just gonna give everything up? You know, it's okay to be selfish for once. Don't hold yourself back don't run away from what your heart wants. Yes, the future may be scary and uncertain but all the more reason why I think we should live in the moment."_

_"Besides, I know you still love him deep down even if you didn't say it. And I know that shitty idiot shares the same feelings."_

_"Listen to your heart, Hinata. Follow your true feelings. Deep within your heart, you were still hoping to bring back the two of you had."_

_"Bring back the two of us had, huh."_ he muttered.

_"Shou-chan."_

Hinata's eyes widened and his heart sped up. _This voice...it couldn't be..._

He turned his head to the sound of the voice, only to see the person he wasn't expecting.

_"No...way..."_

_**To be continued...** _


End file.
